The Joke's on Allah (Gag) 7-9-05
What do you call a first offender in Saudi Arabia ? . . . . . A Lefty!
What do you a two time offender in Saudi Arabia ? . . . . . Stumpy!
Mullah to kindergarten student: "Little Abdul, whom do you want to murder when you blow up?"
Two Israelis are in an elevator when the doors open and a Palestinian gets on.
After the doors close, the Palestinian lets out a huge, noisy fart.
The doors open again and the Palestinian gets off.
One Jew looks at the other, wipes his brow and says, "Thank God! It was a dud!"
What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
Coaution! Live ammunition.
How many militant "Muslims" does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
Did you hear about the Broadway play, "The Palestinians ?"
It bombed!
What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia?
A Lefty!
Death or Cheech? (stolen and adapted for use here by yours truly)
Two Christian preachers go to an Islamic country to convert the heathens to Christianity.
The local Mullah has them arrested and brought before him in chains.
The two preachers are forced onto their knees and their heads are forced down into a bow.
The Mullah says, "The penalty for prostelising a Muslim is death!
But to show you how Allah is all merciful, I will give you a choice.
You can choose to convert to Islam, or you can choose Cheech, or you can choose death.
Make your choice now, infidels !"
Well, the two preachers mumble to each other, "I'd rather be dead than a Muslim! But what's this Cheech? That doesn't sound too bad."
His decision made, the first preacher says, "I choose Cheech!"
The Mullah nods his head and says, very well. You have chosen Cheech, and it is Cheech you shall have!"
The first preacher is made to stand while crowds of angry Muslims hack at him with scimitars and daggers. Bleeding and armless, missing a foot, both ears, and one eye, the crowd lifts him onto a wrack where they pull him apart while disemboweling him."
The second preacher is speechless, seeing his friend die in such a cruel and horrible manner.
The Mullah smiles and looks at the second preacher. "You must make your choice or I will make it for you!"
The second preacher, after seeing what his friend went through, decides that he would prefer death. "I choose death", he says.
The Mullah nods his head and says, "You have chosen wisely. Death you shall have, but first Cheech!"
---------------------------------
May 4, 2005
Ask a Palastinian "What do you want to be when you blow up?"
----------------------------------
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York.
Suddenly he sees the little girl being attacked by a pit bull. He runs Over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeds in killing the dog and Saving the girls life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves a little girl's life"
But I am not a New Yorker!
Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning: "Brave American saves a little girl's life"
But I am not an American. I am Pakistani!
The next day the newspapers say: "Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist network are possible. (You wished it would say that!)
----------------------------
To catch Osama Bin Laden,
Grandpa sez: Spray Afghanistan with Viagra and the little prick will pop up!
---------------------------
Q. Why does Osama Bin Laden collect goat shit?
A. Because it's a great growing culture for anthrax, and it makes terrific deodorant.
---------------------------
Q. What do you call a Taliban with a goat and a sheep?
A. Bisexual.
---------------------------
Q. Why did the Taliban school alternate Sex Education classes with Drivers Ed.?
A. They only had one camel.
-----------------
Q. What's another name for the DaisyCutter bomb?
A. The TaliWhacker.
------------------
Q. Why do the Taliban wear robes?
A. A goat can hear a zipper a mile away.
------------------
Question: Why are there no K-Marts in Afghanistan?
Answer: Because there's a Target on every mountain.
------------------
Question: How do you tell when a Muslim goes from boyhood to manhood?
Answer: He takes his diaper off his butt and wraps it around his head.
What do you a two time offender in Saudi Arabia ? . . . . . Stumpy!
Mullah to kindergarten student: "Little Abdul, whom do you want to murder when you blow up?"
Two Israelis are in an elevator when the doors open and a Palestinian gets on.
After the doors close, the Palestinian lets out a huge, noisy fart.
The doors open again and the Palestinian gets off.
One Jew looks at the other, wipes his brow and says, "Thank God! It was a dud!"
What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
Coaution! Live ammunition.
How many militant "Muslims" does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
Did you hear about the Broadway play, "The Palestinians ?"
It bombed!
What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia?
A Lefty!
Death or Cheech? (stolen and adapted for use here by yours truly)
Two Christian preachers go to an Islamic country to convert the heathens to Christianity.
The local Mullah has them arrested and brought before him in chains.
The two preachers are forced onto their knees and their heads are forced down into a bow.
The Mullah says, "The penalty for prostelising a Muslim is death!
But to show you how Allah is all merciful, I will give you a choice.
You can choose to convert to Islam, or you can choose Cheech, or you can choose death.
Make your choice now, infidels !"
Well, the two preachers mumble to each other, "I'd rather be dead than a Muslim! But what's this Cheech? That doesn't sound too bad."
His decision made, the first preacher says, "I choose Cheech!"
The Mullah nods his head and says, very well. You have chosen Cheech, and it is Cheech you shall have!"
The first preacher is made to stand while crowds of angry Muslims hack at him with scimitars and daggers. Bleeding and armless, missing a foot, both ears, and one eye, the crowd lifts him onto a wrack where they pull him apart while disemboweling him."
The second preacher is speechless, seeing his friend die in such a cruel and horrible manner.
The Mullah smiles and looks at the second preacher. "You must make your choice or I will make it for you!"
The second preacher, after seeing what his friend went through, decides that he would prefer death. "I choose death", he says.
The Mullah nods his head and says, "You have chosen wisely. Death you shall have, but first Cheech!"
---------------------------------
May 4, 2005
Ask a Palastinian "What do you want to be when you blow up?"
----------------------------------
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York.
Suddenly he sees the little girl being attacked by a pit bull. He runs Over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeds in killing the dog and Saving the girls life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves a little girl's life"
But I am not a New Yorker!
Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning: "Brave American saves a little girl's life"
But I am not an American. I am Pakistani!
The next day the newspapers say: "Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist network are possible. (You wished it would say that!)
----------------------------
To catch Osama Bin Laden,
Grandpa sez: Spray Afghanistan with Viagra and the little prick will pop up!
---------------------------
Q. Why does Osama Bin Laden collect goat shit?
A. Because it's a great growing culture for anthrax, and it makes terrific deodorant.
---------------------------
Q. What do you call a Taliban with a goat and a sheep?
A. Bisexual.
---------------------------
Q. Why did the Taliban school alternate Sex Education classes with Drivers Ed.?
A. They only had one camel.
-----------------
Q. What's another name for the DaisyCutter bomb?
A. The TaliWhacker.
------------------
Q. Why do the Taliban wear robes?
A. A goat can hear a zipper a mile away.
------------------
Question: Why are there no K-Marts in Afghanistan?
Answer: Because there's a Target on every mountain.
------------------
Question: How do you tell when a Muslim goes from boyhood to manhood?
Answer: He takes his diaper off his butt and wraps it around his head.
posted by A 6th Generation American at 7:38 AM
2 Comments:
Question: Why are there no K-Marts in Afghanistan?
Answer: Because there's a Target on every mountain.
Question: How do you tell when a Muslim goes from boyhood to manhood?
Answer: He takes his diaper off his butt and wraps it around his head.
Two Muslim jokes added thanks to anonymous
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